Waiting.

Where to begin? Where should I start this story? How about with the feelings that I have toward, love, hope, life, the future or how about this past summer? Where's there a good place to begin? As I approach my 24th birthday, I am finding myself thinking about the beginning of this year. In January I was asked to spend the summer in North Carolina! I loved it, but now that I am back to reality and having to deal with growing up and being an adult, things are getting tougher. I find myself saying "what if"? Don't get me wrong I don't ever regret anything that I  choose to do, for it makes me who I am. Learn and move on, live and look back and laugh. But as human theres that question "what if"? What if I didn't do that or if I wouldn't have left. Would things still be the same? Would they have changed any? I am left to wonder what would have really happened if I hadn't done certain things in life. Through all of this and praying I have found that dwelling on this is like dwelling on the past. There are somethings that are left better undone, and left alone. I find it hard sometimes to rely on God, to trust what His plan for my life is or if it's going in the right direction. As a kid I often remember people telling me to rely on His plan, and boy weren't they right! Everything happens for a reason and on the timing of the Almighty. As I sit here  watching the world go by I think about the weeks events in life and my life, how stressful it has been and trying, the times I want to sit down and cry or how I have complained or vented about it to my mother. How many things don't go my way or how I am not happy with life right now. Is that saying that I am not happy with what God has given me? Or the life He so willingly died for? It's only human to not like your life sometimes. But I have to sit back and think in all reality my life is not awful at all. I am actually alot more blessed then some. I have freedoms that some do not, to worship a Loving God, freedom of speech, things that I take for granted every single day. But God's yelling at me in the midst of this saying "Kayla all good things will come to those who wait". Focusing on Him and seeing a good out come is very hard, but so worth it. Not always being able to see the good in every situation is so hard, but find the good in everything and praise God! And when we wait for the Lord's outcome, it is so much better than we had planed! That's the best part :)  So, be patient and wait, its worth every second of it!!